Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts

Building Strong Relationships With Your Kids

FamilyTake the time to build strong relationships with your children so your bond will not break, no matter how bumpy the road may become through the years.

There are few relationships in your life that are going to be more important than the ones you form with your children. These relationships are the hardest to maintain, but are also the ones most filled with love.

As children grow into adults, they feel strongly about being independent, and that can strain any good parent-child bond. However, they need their parents more than every during this time.

Strong relationships with children are harder than they sound.

When children are babies they totally and completely rely on their parents for care and love. This is the easy part, though things like vacations and sleeping through the night are lost, a strong love to last a lifetime is born.

To keep strong relationships past the infant and toddler years, it is going to take some work.

Most parents have the best of intentions, but life can get in the way. Make sure this does not happen, and if it has, know it is not too late to turn things around.

When your children are below the age of ten, you can start maintaining strong relationships with them by listening to what they have to say.

You may have children that talk a lot about nothing, but you want to be sure you are listening when they really have something important to say.

If they feel that they can come to you and you will listen to them no matter what they have to say, they are going to be more willing to come to you later when their thoughts or actions can have a bigger impact on their lives.

Strong relationships start young, so make sure you tune in each day.

As your children go through the tween and teenage years, bonds with parents are going to be tested. Weak ones may fail completely.

Keep your relationships strong and open, even when you have to back down on occasion.

There is a good reason why many are giving the advice to choose your battles wisely.

You want to stay in charge, but you also want to give your children some independence. Listen, allow them to earn some privileges, and never assume silence means everything is okay.

As your children go into adulthood, you may worry your strong relationships are faltering because they only call you once a week and even then, they keep the call short. Remember that this too shall pass.

Your kids still need you, they just need you in a different way.

Soon enough they are going to think about marriage and may have children of their own, and when they do, they are going to need Mom and Dad on call. By then, they can appreciate all you have done for them and they can rely on you for advice.

Strong relationships with your children are not always easy to maintain, but they are worth their weight in gold.

Is Moving Back in With Parents Such a Good Idea?

The newspapers report these days with some alarm on how there are quite a few adult children moving back in with parents today and how they aren't moving out. They blame it all on a terrible job market that makes it hard for these young people to find jobs that pay well enough that they can live on their own.

But this might be oversimplifying matters.

Moving back in with parents isn't just something young people do because they don't have a better choice. Often these days, they do this voluntarily.

The American way of having children be so independent that they are absolutely required to move out when they turn 18 is just that – it's the American way.

It isn't even the way they do things in Europe, a place that is culturally quite similar to America.

Perhaps, experts feel, the reason Americans have for long seen moving out as a sign of the arrival of adulthood is that traditionally, Americans haven't been close to their children.

These days, all the decades that we've been constantly told that closeness is good thing, may finally be paying off.

Parents and children are finally close enough that they aren't constantly looking forward to the day that they'll be free of one another. These days, children voluntarily live on with their parents even when they have achieved independence.

Research these days tells us that empty-nesters actually report being far happier with their children gone than they were with their children. But that's the thing with research – what you prove depends on what you want to prove.

For instance, there are 80 million Americans now who personally take care of a parent or another family member who is too old or infirm to be alone. Don't these parents enjoy having their children live with them?

Similarly, it's easy to find parents who are happy living on with their married children too.

It gives them access to their grandchildren, and in a time when one's retirement funds are inadequate for retirement, living together with one's children offers a good way of saving a bit on one's limited resources.

Nine of ten graduates these days move right back in with their parents as soon as they've finished college.

Only a part of that can be attributed to how it's hard for them to find well-paying jobs. For the most part, they go back because their parents have made such wonderful homes for them that they find themselves actually liking their parents enough to want to be close to them. Gasp!

The organization Network on Transitions to Adulthood has plenty of insight on this kind of thing to offer us.

As wonderful as all the closeness is, there is a lot to be said for independence too. Parents and adult children deciding to live together need to draw a few boundaries.

Parents need to make sure that they aren't offering more help than they can afford with safety, and young people need to make sure that they aren't leeching on their parents and losing their ability to survive on their own.

What are your thoughts on young adults moving back in with parents? Leave us a comment below and tell us what you think.